I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and you said cock pushups were impossible
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
