yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
