i think my tv is drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
