you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
