So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
