Im at strip club and am horny
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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