put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
