I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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