have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
