I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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