cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
