Already got asked if we're dating
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
