I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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