your room smells of hookers.
And success
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
