My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
