So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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