those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
