my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
