apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
