So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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