I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Someone signed my nipple.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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