You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
