that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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