is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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