this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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