Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
