So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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