I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize