i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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