3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
