i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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