Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
