He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
last night I used snow as a chaser
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
