And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize