is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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