Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
