That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize