we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
