I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize