Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
