My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
