Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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