bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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