Duck Duck Cougar?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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