Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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