So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
