Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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