have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
