if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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