I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
