imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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