Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
