We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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