I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
