The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
