my vag is so smooth its legendary
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
