My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this boner is exhausting
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
