Where is the hickey?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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