We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
