So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
