I puked a lego.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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