After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
