Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
