living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
