Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
