Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
