I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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