I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
