one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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